It makes complete nonsense

My brain is tired of reading stuff on the brain. lol. Right now I really don't give a damn of what the pituitary gland secretes, the hormones involved, or any spinal cord stuff. I don't care about the kidneys, the bladder, urine, or thyroid.
Now that I think about it, why the hell is the urinary system even placed alongside the CNS? Why study both of this different systems as if they were one? hormones....maybe??? Idk. I don't get anything right now.
My might be pushing my mind and brain too much. I have a few finals coming up along with some tests on the end of Oct. I will not attend my cousins wedding that was somewhere in those days of my tests....ah, now that I remember her wedding was called until further notice...anywho, I slept very little the past 2 weeks and I was never able to get my cycle back up.
I feel my mind wants to stop, absorb, and assimilate what is going on in every class. The brain has it down, but I haven't had a chance to actually stop and think about it and make sense out of all this info. I can recall stuff, but it takes too long to make the connection of point A to point B-C-D-E. I feel/know there is a correlation in everything I'm doing so far, so a part of my brain is not too worried of tests.  However, I know that once I have that paper in front, or once I have to perform my routine techniques, I'll forget something. Typical.
It always happens.

This Self just wants to lay down next to the balcony screen, feel the cool breeze coming through, and just imagine absolute nothingness.

I was known as miss perfect

I finished my cross-stitch of the dragon fly.
yesssss.
It was completed in between loading sessions of Sword Art Online, Sukitte Inayo, and some other animes lol.

Proud! (`-`)

I like cross-stitching. It's like a puzzle with some math. It was just as fun as when I was a kid, but I stopped somewhere along 12-14 years of age (or was it even younger....hmm I don't remember). My mom sews, so I learned to use her sewing machine, needle work, repair clothing, etc. I just know I stopped doing some of this stuff because I wanted to do everything. I wanted to try everything, and at the same time, I wanted to perfect everything. Of course, I was too busy trying to do everything that I never got a chance to perfect anything. Lol. Stupid. At the very least, I got the basics to everything :]

Anywho, I feel like walking to the gas station at the corner of the street, but I'm too lazy~~

[insert pic]

First call from Winter

Argh, I was suppose to get up at 7am to get some work done, but that didn't happen. lol

My neighbor used to play lots of good Dubstep music, but recently I've started to hear lots of piano and ambient music. If my ears don't lie to me, I think he even plays the piano. Maybe he writes his own music. I don't know, but the music playing now is really nice.

Anywho, the mornings are starting to feel very cool. I like this. Unfortunately, I think it's just a cold front arriving here in this city.
But still I'll enjoy them with some hot coffee :]

Benkyou! no no no Bankai!
I had a dream where I was speaking Japanese fluently. I don't remember what was going on (I think it was something to do with homework), but fuck! I could understand and speak it well. Now why does that not happen in real life.....

like any other day

It's Friday.
I think I should be out and about in this city. I would like to go see the Mummy display, Riverwalk, or even the Zoo. I was warned not to go downtown primarily because there was a lot of homeless people. I don't understand though. Back home there were homeless people downtown, so I don't know what's the danger that they seem to portray in their faces. Back home, they would asked for money (I have a very funny story of this one guy who asked for a dollar and I ended up giving him 2), some talked about what they have done in their lives, one offered me a job, and this one guy invited me to his space ship that was coming from Chicago and that I should bring some side dish to a carne asada that he and some others where going to have before boarding their ship to leave the city.
Yup. They are all true.
Maybe there are more here; I don't know, I'll have to go and see. I have a wedding on the last week of October, so I'll eventually head down there to get the greyhound. Let's see how that goes.

In the meantime, it's Friday, and instead of going out,  I'm here finishing some stitches of a dragonfly. I want to do Link, then maybe a Yoshi egg for my friend Vane, and maybe that little bubble gum monkey from EarthBound.
Let's see how fast I can do these :]

Health Note to Self(s): Oh, and I think I'm getting an ear infection. I feel a slight pain on both ears ,but I primarily feel pain on the left one. There was a ringing going on yesterday, but other than that nothing else was out of normal.
You might be feeling the after effects of all those times you twisted your right ankle and tore those muscles (and maybe even tendons) from years ago. STOP putting your right leg under the side of your chair that makes it worse!

yessssssssss

Internet speed is back~~

I've watched Wilfred. That was one disturbed ex lol

The Mob Doctor looks good too
---Multi-task---
I'll watch Mr. Nobody during commercials

:]

Note to self(s)

Somethings wrong with the internet connection. It's like super slooooooow.

 I had family over this weekend. I didn't get to study much, but I just wanted to watch some movies and relax.
I tried seeing Mr. Nobody with no avail. Then I wanted to watch the season finale of Wilfred and that didn't work either.
 *sigh
I just want to think on something else for an hour or so and let my mind just daydream a while.

I could try finishing my cross stitch, but I really wanted to watch that movie and Wilfred!!!

*sighhhh

I'll stop complaining and continue studying.
I might just daydream/imagine what I'll do tomorrow,
what my test questions will consist of,
maybe think of how I'll die
or maybe how we'll all die,
think of what would happen if one of those helicopters falls into my apartment complex....
or wonder why or who are in those ambulances passing by my apartment every single minute....why can I hear you so close by? ....maybe cuz you live next to like 4 damn hospitals miss. genius!! 
Who the hell invented that siren anyways?
or why the hell are my legs much more whiter than my arms...what biological mechanism is controlling this difference in skin color....why can't it just be one color!!...aww, I remembered I used to have a huge complex of this when I was younger lol. I had lots of complexes when I was younger.
I'll maybe reminisce a bit of the younger days, younger ideas, younger self(s).   
I'll try to trace what type of race/ethnicity my family is mixed up with...cuz man our family lineage is so damn mixed up...there was a mixture of everything 
I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I just know I just heard my neighbor sneeze, and I said bless you for some reason. 
I don't know~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
I just want to watch Mr. Nobody & Wilfred!! It was the damn Season Finale for crying out loud!!!

I'll blame the wind since it got a bit ~windy~ after the rain..... so yeah.....

watch this shit later when you have a good internet connection!!:
http://www.putlocker.com/file/17C031D41FD876AE#
http://www.putlocker.com/file/E18EC5477EE50A59

Subconscious revelations...not really.

I have work to do, but I had this dream last night and I have to write it somewhere.

I was back home with some people whom I don't know in real life, but I apparently did know them since they were renting my parents home.

From the window this guy, whom I had really loved and imagined myself with him for like throughout my junior year of high school to some college, crawled in onto the bed. I think he was going to cover my eyes, but we jokingly just armed wrestled. Then I rolled over to the corner and he left; a few minutes passed, he came back, sat down, and I just looked at him and slowly woke up.

I guess you can say it was a sweet dream, but I think it was a dream that made me realize that I really don't miss this guy who I allowed to treat me like shit. The story behind him is not that bad really. I thought he was a really nice person and quite friendly to others. He loved to joke around, but his jokes on me where a bit too harsh, and I would sometimes get the feeling that he either hated my guts or just really didn't like my soul's existence. He had someone he liked, and I knew this, so I just kept things as friendship. There was this girl whom my gut feeling never really trusted, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and when she asked me if I liked him I said yes followed by childish, girly conversation of 'Don't tell him.'

Some hours later at night she got "high," and told him. Then I got the cold shoulder from him, and I basically was nonexistent to him. I confronted both (separately of course). I tried to understand the why behind her actions. Why did she have to go and tell him. She denied everything. Then I went and talked to him. He denied knowing. I apologized for not telling him directly, but I knew (basically all of our friends knew) that he liked this other girl and therefore I didn't tell. After a few minutes, he said to not worry about it. The scene that followed is still etched: he wanted to make up with a hug. He came up opened his arms, and I looked at him and said "No that's fine." I placed my hands in front and moved away. I have this policy for myself since a little kid (~13 or 14 yrs old I think). Never allow a guy who is a.) not your boyfriend, b.) not your brother or family member, c.) not someone your gut feelings say it's ok, and d.) someone you don't trust, come near you into your personal bubble, kiss you, or hug you. Respect yourself and the person whom you might meet in the future.

So, I told him it was fine. That it was not his fault, but of my poor judgement of who I could trust. The fact that he was like this with me was not my major concern, but what had actually been painful was her actions. Then I thanked him for hearing me out and I left.

Trust is something that comes easily, but is always double checked before given out. I put to much emphasize on this little idea of "trust" and so I must be careful onto who I give to. Heck most of my close friends are not really that close. It sounds really childish I know, but I hate having to go through the same melodrama that the breakage of trust follows. I've always thought and felt that trust is something very precious and is up there with love.

Of course, there are times when I give this trust to someone who I just met, which brings me to point of this dream. When I woke up from this dream, I said I slowly wake up because I did. As I opened my eyes, the room was slowly changing into my apartment (without the furniture of course). Like a mirage or slide transition from the power point that disappears to the next slide or something. Throughout this wakening, someone else was in my head. When I woke up, I realized that there was someone whom I really missed and was in my head the whole time.

I really am over this first guy, since I don't know when. Maybe I just never realized that this new person was etched really nicely in my head lol. He was the only one after that incident that I just felt like trusted him. Why? I don't really understand it. It felt like I knew him already. Like I could be myself with him. I could tell him anything. I knew him and understood him (not 100% but in many thing) really well to the point that it surprised him. I had actually decided not to trust anyone so easily. Maybe become a bit cold as a self defense, but I didn't like that idea since not many are like her. I wasn't too sure what way to go. I was doubting like always. Then he came by and trusted me with his personal life story and ideas. This got me thinking that I shouldn't doubt everyone one else in this world because of a few. I should have a small check and balances like the govt does. lol. Seriously!

I don't know. Life is a funny thing. I'm a funny thing. I'm the type of person who will cry her heart out when someone breaks her trust than when a guy breaks her heart. How much funnier can that be!!  

sigh I have intestinal pathogens and other cute amoebas I have to learn so I'm going to study. :]

Dear dairy, (lmao)

It was a good day.

I almost stepped on Mr. Earthworm Jim on my way to class. He really looked like a stick! If it wasn't because he squiggled, I would have let my foot down on him. I was going to let him be, but as I looked back, I kinda felt bad. It reminded me of the red pipevine swallowtail caterpillar I saw yesterday; how he was on that hot cement street trying to go over the sidewalk side. I walked by, but then decided to go back and move him on some brush leaves. So I went back to Mr. Jim, left my 12 pack of cokes on the stairs, and acted as if I was on my cell phone waiting for the girl on her cell phone and some guy to pass by before I got a stick and moved him across to the soil. He was super long!!

Hmm, I did good on my clinical immunology test. I got full credit on the open ended questions, which to me matter more than those multiple choice questions.

I forgot to buy toilet paper, and I thought maybe Dollar Tree might have some. So I drove to Dollar Tree and in the meantime visited Micheal's. I drove all the way over there, and found out that Dollar Tree does not sell toilet paper. Great.

Stopped at Wal-mart. There were some people there selling stuff in the parking lot. One guy wanted me to stop halfway in the lot so I just parked.

First thing he said was, "Aw that's tight! Thanks for parking.....Damn girl, aren't you feeling hot? It's burning here!" I had a long sleeved, cotton grey blouse. Lol! How dare he! He was a nice guy actually. Unfortunately, he was selling perfumes. I don't wear perfumes. Never really liked wearing them, so I kinda felt bad saying "No thank you."

Then he said, "Well you can get some for your boyfriend."

**stab right through the heart! lol. "No, I'm sorry I don't have a boyfriend." Then he said the sweetest thing, "What? Man if you were from Austin I'ld date you!" Aww! I just said thank you and he just shook my hand.

At first I was like "that's very sweet!" Then my evil side started saying, "He just wanted to sell! Lol!"

Shut up!

Sleeping in

I get this feeling of just sleeping.
Just sleep and never get up.
But man, that's just waste.

I kinda feel bad. I feel I'm becoming very....hmm, something like selfishly thoughtless to put it. I feel like I've been here all my life. That my hometown never really existed. All those people and places I saw and lived in, aren't real. None of it was real. It feels like that place was all just a dream, and this place, this city, that I'm currently for the past month & a-half has always been the place where I've been. I don't know. Maybe it's actually the other way around. I don't know what to think anymore. It's a bit hard to explain.

When people ask if I miss my hometown, I don't know what to say. Cuz I really don't know what to think of it. I think it's because I never let this new adventure sink in. I haven't had the time to think and process my current situation and plans through.

And then they always ask (when they know I'm living alone), "Aren't you lonely?" I always feel like asking them, "What is loneliness to you?" But then I'll get into this whole philosophical concept of what I think loneliness is, the emphasis that man places on what meaning of stuff, words, or concepts; and so much stuff that this head of mine thinks of when people say that loneliness is such a bad thing. This is like a pet peeve to me. lol. So I'll rather just say "I'm not," and let it be over with.

Anyways, that feeling of waking up is horrendous, but after a while, once the melatonin has passed and the light stimulation has traveled to the suprachiasmatic nucleus, I feel very happy to be up. My mind is happy to be up, and my brain is ready to continue on the next interesting thing to learn about. I don't know. It's just very amazing.

Feelings, you are the most scariest thing anything/anyone can have installed. I fear you, and even this fear is...illogically contradictive?? Hmm, I make perfect sense. lol.

So I want to delete this guy.
But I feel bad.
I wish I had never added him.
I've had him there for a while,
but I still regret not following my gut feelings.
yeah it's the same guy from the last post.
augh whatever.

I seriously wish I could open that damn balcony door and go outside!
But all the balconies here are connected so....um it's not a very good idea.

I remembered why I didn't like playing the 'role-playing' games (to me they were all video games, no distinction between morpg or rpg). I played Zelda ♥ back in the day, and then every time I would get something I could here the dududu di!! All proud. It sucked! I get too much into these type of games. They mess with my brain and hearing! I might have gone mental.
God don't even mention pokemon....aw shit, that was the worse!

So I've moved, and I kinda like it. I like my apartment, community, and I haven't started my classes but I think I'll like them.

I had trouble getting enough money to attend school and for my apartment, but some how everything is working out. Although I must admit, at first it seemed as if the "universe" was working against it. I got enrolled a 2 yr program thinking it was a 1 yr, my loan amount shrunk only enough to pay for classes (and I still haven't received any of my loan money and I can't receive any loans for summer), my books were kinda scattered about, and worse of all, I'm an undergrad again.

But all in all, I like this school. I like the library, and although it is much more bigger, I kinda miss my old cubicle. I do miss my old cubicle, but what I miss the most is the company. That one soul who would always go and visit the library ghost (aka me lol).

*sigh* I think I've annoyed him, so I haven't send any email to him to ask what he is doing. I just occasionally see him in my dreams (literally). So... I wonder what he's up to.

Note to self:

ALWAYS REPEAT THINGS!

It doesn't matter that the information is already given on the website or brochure or whatever, just repeat the information to clarify stuff and to MAKE SURE that YOU are not misunderstanding anything! Because now you have enrolled on a second bachelor degree in CLS thinking it was a one year thing. And to make things 10000% worse, you are considered an undergrad; and therefore, do not qualify for the $20,000 loan that you had hoped for! Now how in the world are you going to pay for classes and rent you freakin IDIOT! I'm basically going to sell my soul to a bank and hope to get some money for rent and bills. Food? What's that?

ahhhhh! I need to start packing! I already took like 10 boxes from work lol.
>~~<
I'm terrified of moving into an apartment. I kinda wish I wouldn't have read all of those reviews....some stuff was just plain scary. lol.

Let's hope for the best :)

I HAVE A POUNDING HEADACHE!!!

I feel like writing stories. Not stories with dialogue. just stories.

I'm so Sorry

http://news.yahoo.com/taiwan-photographers-crusade-doomed-shelter-dogs-051905318.html

I'll watch this later~

i like this guy :)

http://www.cbs.com/shows/late_late_show/video/2251045387/the-late-late-show-6-27-2012 http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3949729121393770046#editor/target=post;postID=4611131642749695538

sighhhh I just withdrew my participation from the MBS program at UMN.
TT_TT

After all this nagging of wanting to go, in the end I didn't go. stupid. Maybe someday in the near future, I'll try again :)

Mafia King

gah! My throat hurts. I haven't been sick in a longgg time, so I'm pretty surprised I woke up like this (although I did feel that something was creeping up when I felt that tingling sensation in the ear and throat).  Now to drown myself in cherry cough drop! yummy~

Before I forget, I had this funny dream that woke me up with a smile in my face. We were getting into a mafia place to steal something, but I don't know what it was; I just know it was something valuable. We were apparently 4 people: a cousin of mine, a girl, a guy, and me (I don't know who the guy and the girl are in real life). So we are inside a large building, and I'm with the girl distracting/talking to the head Mafia King (who was apparently in a meeting with other mafia dudes) so that my cousin and guy could get whatever we were suppose to get.

The Mafia King took a liking to this girl because apparently she kinda looked like his dead daughter (this reasoning was all in my head though cuz the mafia dude never said anything of that sort). So anything she said or asked he complied to grant her wish. She was telling this story to the Mafia King...something about the pressure of the water lol...and then this other mafia dude interrupts her and starts his own story and the Mafia King gets mad and shuts him up so she can continue. Lol! He was like: "Ey, Danny, shut your mouth and let her continue." Turns to the girl and looks kindly, "You were saying?" So what about me? I was like seen as just the friend of the girl. Don't treat her bad, but don't treat her like a God either lol. So, I'm off by the side looking through some pile of stuff. I remember finding something, and then the dream shifts and kinda fast forwards to where I am running to the elevator with the girl.

My cousin is already there, but she has betrayed us and is trying to escape. She is already inside the elevator pushing the up button (my guess is that we were underground or something). I get there and push the button from the outside stop the doors from closing. The girl gets in the elevator and kinda starts struggling with the girl and I remember thinking, "Oh shit, if my cousin wounds her the Mafia King will be pissed and will kill us!" So I go in too and start struggling with her as well. My cousin kept wanting us to get off the elevator so she kept hitting the buttons (I'm guessing the open doors one) so the elevator didn't move and just stayed in the same floor. In the mist of the struggle, I looked out the doors and I saw a library sort of place with a librarian just looking at us with a mixed expression of confusion and anger. Lol.

Then she somehow pushed us out, but we got back in. The girl grabbed my cousin from behind, and then I pushed her to the floor so that she could let go of the buttons and the elevator could leave this floor. Then the missing guy comes in (yup he was missing all this time Lol). We are fighting in the floor and I yell at him, "Close the doors!" So he comes in the elevator and stretches his hands to the outside buttons. After what seemed like an eternity, the doors start to close. I got that feeling of mixed relief where "yes we are getting out of here!" and "come on, close faster!" Then just when the doors were about to close the doors open again when they censored his arm which was 'hitting' the close button on the outside......

He turns around and we hear his stupid giggle.

We all laughed in that elevator. We hadn't noticed that this idiot had his arm stretching towards the outside hitting nothing, and the elevator doors closed by themselves after no buttons were being hit. It was a funny dream, but I woke up after this and didn't know if we were caught and killed.

Me and my weird dreams.
Kinda reminds me of that guy:

I just noticed my time zone for this blog is an hour forward, and I don't know how to fix it. Dang. lol

EDIT: ... never mind. Where's my dunce cap? hahh

nostalgic pain

We found our old Super Nintendo....I wish we hadn't! I've spent at least $60-$80 some in games and controllers. Luckily, I found some good ones at Goodwill that actually worked perfectly! Never expected to find them there though. And then the next day, I dragged my super lucky brother to it, and he found all 3 movies of Star Wars. He thought he had only found 2, but the last one was hidden in a different case for a more modern Star Wars movie which I forgot the name (they were all in VHS but he didn't care). He has like drained all the luck from us unlucky ones just for himself. Lol. He even found a Wingman Extreme joystick for like 2 bucks...so now I have to find the usb gameport for it.

I found BOOKS!! $1 medical books Hells yeah! Drooling like homer simpson for a donut! A bit outdated but still good! And I think my mom really liked that store. She keeps going back to buy skirts lol.

I also found some games in the flea market and bought two original controllers with Street Fighter II! Nostalgia!!! Now we only need my good old Zelda and Killer Instinct, which are super expensive!! Like $35 each!!! T-T

I've played, and my thumbs/nails hurt like in the old days....but I love it! (*°∀°)=3

:)

My brother lent me his gaming controller for the pc......I don't think I'm giving it back. lol.

sighhhh my old Super Nintendo works like a charm! I'm just missing my controllers and our games (they went missing) hahah. But Man! The good games are super expensive!  My brother wants Killer Instinct, but it's like 35 bucks!!

what feels right.

"My daddy likes you!"

The words of a small boy at my work. He was joking with his dad, and told me this after his dad told my manager that his son wanted to work with us and wear the aprons as well. It was funny, but I just felt embarrassed and just thought "holy shit where's the mom before she falcon punches me!"

This reminds me of a "friend" or acquaintance or rather a classmate from high school...idk what to call him anymore. I'll go with classmate. So, I found out that he actually really did like me back in high school sometime ago. I thought it was just some joke, or rather I'm just dense. He was a popular soccer player and actually really nice. He was nice to chat with and play speed (a card game) with him. I never really knew he had any interest in me until a friend of ours passed away. The next day he arrived high on cocaine to school. My friends laughed at him and his stupidity. I scolded them, and I scolded him. I had no right to decide what he did with his life or what had control over what they thought, but I wasn't in the mood of losing another friend because of something so stupid. So, I became selfish and gave them a piece of my mind without really caring what they thought. I guess he got a bit upset. He stopped talking to me. He started going out with I don't how many girls. I just remember my friends saying he was changing girls like changing his underwear. I did hear a rumor that he might have liked me, but I didn't really payed much attention. After a few years, I saw him again in a graduation ceremony of I think class of 2008 or 2009 (not sure). I got the most unexpected thing told to me. My friend and I heard him clearly shout out like halfway through the parking lot, "Next time I see you, I'm going to bring an engagement ring for you." Wtf! Fast forward to ~2 years ago, he gets a FB, appears to be married with a child, and he adds my friends except me, and after peer pressure from my friends and my weakness, I send a friend request to him even though my guts were horribly screaming 'NOoOOoOo!!' I sent the usual comment of 'Hey how've you been...etc etc.' no response for a week and then suddenly a response that made me think/feel, "man what have I done."

The point I wanted to reach was that my friend told me he had asked them to say hi to everyone from school and especially a special hi to me since he still liked me. Well with this, I stopped logging in regularly, didn't want to email him anymore (he had sent me an email about what he saw at Japan. I kinda felt bad about it after I found out about this), and just not speak to him (he himself stop speaking to me since that last email). I sometimes think this is childish, but it just feels wrong. It IS wrong. Thinking that this guy has no respect for his wife or his child just makes me angry. WTF is he thinking! Seriously idk. I kinda feel bad because I think back to that gut feeling of, 'you shouldn't contact him', and think maybe he didn't want to add me because he didn't want to bring back any old memories, and I as an idiot added him. Idk. I seriously don't know, but I'm certain I don't want to be involved in any family problems...and now that I mention it, he had an argument with his wife through fb and he temporarily shut down his account after our one and only messaging. idk if our messaging was the cause or not, but I hope not. *sigh* I shouldn't have contacted you, and I'm sorry but I really don't want to speak with you as we used to in high school. I'm sorry my old classmate, but I really hope you can be happy with your family and wish the best :).

and all of these messy thoughts were trying to overcome me during my job. Hell no! There are priorities you must follow my dear self. You may vent later.
*sigh* all because of that little boy... (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

"Ever been kissed?"

I can answer confidently.

Yes, in my dreams. Literally. super girly hahahha and sad. Lol (this was a while back though, and I just remembered about it)

Just woke up after dreaming the whole night with this same person, whom I really do miss. One after the other. They were kinda weird, but I'm happy I could at least see him in my dreams and with his new haircut. lol.T-T

I could just email him and maybe even ask him if he would like to meet up, but I always think I might be annoying him so I won't email him anymore. I really do like the person who he is and the things that make him; with all his dislikes, likes, flaws, and kind aspects & his cool family.

Alas, I'm only his friend.

........stupid hormones making me feel this. hahah secondly I think I'm spending way too much with my friends who are a couple. I'm the stupid third wheel. lol

（*´▽｀*）

*deep breath*

So the last trip I did. To sum it up:
Amtrak was excellent!! Love you Texas Eagle (wish you had Wi-Fi though); the attendant was cute (except his hair cut) and was really nice.

Chicago was breathtaking! I felt like a cockroach. The greyhound was a good ride. Our driver was nice enough to stop at a Burger King and allow us to buy food for the long ride to Minnesota :)

The University of Minnesota was beautiful and so was the mall! Lol. My brother and I couldn't get enough of this one store called  Marbles: The Brain Store. LOVED IT!! (It was actually the only store we had time to see hahah)

There was a thunderstorm/flooding watch on our last night, so we took a cab to the sleep at the airport just in case it got bad. I've heard people say that riding an airplane feels like riding a roller coaster. I don't agree (well, it's a bias answer partly because I haven't taken a roller coaster in a while) I couldn't feel a thing. My ears did hurt like someone ran a needle through my eardrum to my cochlea! Shit, worse pain ever! Forget menstrual pain; this was pain! Still, I liked our flight. Oh, it was in US Airways by the way. It was one stop at NC then to SA.

Funny thing on our way back home from SA: The whole plan had gone according to plan with minor adjustments, but it was going as planned. We were states away and it went fine, but chaos happened when my sister was on her way to pick us up getting back home. 1.) the taxi driver got confused and sent us to the wrong hotel, and when we finally got there, he charged $49, but I only had $35. He gladly accepted that amount lol. 2.) When my sis got there and we were on our way back home, her car indicated a low air pressure from her tire. She checked, and she had a flat. 3.) Long story short: she kept driving it to a mechanic, horribly fucked up her tire, and then realized that she didn't have the key to her tires; we ended up stealing Wi-Fi from starbucks to find a hotel and the nearest Nissan in SA to spend the night and get back home the following day. Fuckin shit!

So yeah it was a nice adventure, and the bad luck kind of continued the next day when I took my truck out for a drive and got the belt torn and had to go get it fixed. My drunk uncle was in the same situation but at a walmart (literally he was drunk with his van at walmart. How sad yet hilarious is that!). I was glad my car could at least still move so that I could take it to my other uncle the mechanic. We did stop to give him some food and stuff. I'm not that mean. Yeah, it was a crazy week. :D

Still I discovered I might not go to MN. The professors I met were really nice and all, but I wouldn't want to work on a project for 3-5 years, write a 30-35 page research paper, and then not have it published (not to mention the out-of-state tuition). IDK. I really REALLY need to think about this. Good thing is my application for UTHSC clinical lab is in! Yay! I'm only missing UTSA's master one.

good. Now relax, draw a bit, watch Ghibli movies, play snes, and see/give love advice (which idk why the hell she asks me when I've never had a boyfriend haha) to my 35ish year old sister in her courtship with her twins coworker.

*exhale* now do a dragon breathing technique lol.

Me: "find me Wi-Fi and I'll get us home!"

just got back from Minnesota.....
I expected my trip to have some flaws or for things to turn out wrong, so I planned accordingly with plans A-Z each with their "What if...?" case scenario
....sigh...who would have thought that all my worries of getting lost or stranded in some unknown state would have actually happened 2 and a half hours FROM MY DAMN HOMETOWN!!! WTF IS WRONG (*&*^&^%%$^%!!!!!!!!

It was Super, SUPER, slam your finger with the car door FUNNY!!
sighhhhhhhhhhhh I need to write this whole experience down to never forget it and to tell my kids just how funny life can be, or to simply remind myself how silly life can be. :) However, I'll write that later. I'm super sleepy and tired.

nonsense

sad that I didn't know what a S&M club was...

I feel really tired lately. Just want to sleep and never move from there.

You know the tiredness is from last night. You had to put up plywood on the back side of the house, reinforce it with some 2x8s, and then sweep much of the water that had gotten in. 
Oh yeah and that piece of plywood fell, so you had to go out and pick it up. Yeah the water was really cold and it was muddy & heavy! Your clothes got wet and you needed to get a shower. 
You didn't finish your results for the paper since you were out there for at least 2 hours. 
Since your myspace was opened, you wrote about it. You got tired and fell asleep with everything left on. You forgot pretty much everything else. lol 
Hey, didn't you also just get back from SA? Oh yeah, you were walking all around the campus getting a tour, but the advisor you wanted to speak to wasn't even there. It was rather POINTLESS! hahah 
And those guys from MN aren't being very helpful are they. You sure you're going next Monday to MN? You still haven't bought the tickets. 
rub it in will you

Gut feelings suck don't they. 
Pretty much.

Feelings suck. No, feelings are scary, and you knew that from the start; so stop thinking about it. 
Let things take their toll. [that's probably in a song...google it!!]
NO. I won't google it! *fuck it is in a song
....enough I'm going to bed.

sidetracked

Why the hell am I watching stock market videos!?

It went from:
Microtox-->trendlines-->stock market

lol

Ah, I love this. Exactly what I was thinking!

 

from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/superdd/3217313472/

*I hear thunder o.o*

murderer

I think I killed a toad on my way back from work today..... T-T
It had been raining all evening long so my guess is that all the little (actually I saw two and they were quite HUGE!) toads came out. I saw one jumping across the street and tried swerving to one side and avoid it, but when I looked through my mirror I couldn't see it anymore....I remember a small "bump" on the back wheel but that street is full of pot holes so I can't be certain... aww poor toad. My apologies Mr. Toad.

I did manage to avoid the second one though! Yay! It actually just froze on the spot when I got near, so I'm hoping the first one also froze on the spot to avoid being killed. Fingers crossed*

scary future

i don't think i should even go for the masters then....

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/even-a-phd-couldn-t-keep-this-man-off-food-stamps.html

pulling the strings

You know that feeling that just lingers around and keeps bringing you back down to your senses really sucks. Here I am trying to see what the grad school in SA has to offer, looking around their programs and stuff, and this damned feeling comes in and kinda just brings me down. Like a mixture of nostalgia/confusion with a hint of doomsday. I don't know. I mean I like the program, and I sometimes get the feeling that this is where I should go; but then, I get this other feeling that just doesn't like the place and says "nah, this is not where you belong." Fuck you feelings! I like the program and maybe even the location (no I don't like the infrastructure of this city...it's too...cluttered?), but there is this "thing" that keeps telling me that I shouldn't go to this place but then I get the feeling that this is where I will actually end up in.....WTF. lol! This is funny and fun. And shit don't let me get into the feeling that I will suddenly just realized that "this" is not real. That all of "this" is fake, and I'm soon either going to sleep and never wake up or I'll just suddenly die. lol. End of the world? Damn gut feelings, I love you!

I don't know, it's just very funny. :)

you've got to be kidding me!

Stupid paper was due till Wed! I could have studied more (T___T)
Stupid girl for not reading that paper outline!
Stupid stupid stupid.....
＼(◎o◎)／！ ＼(◎o◎)／！ ＼(◎o◎)／！

and I bombed that test! (bombed=failed)

mmmhhh...?

I have a final and paper due on Monday.
I decided to miss my review session on Friday because I didn't want to miss work again.
But I got to see my friend's play at the university that same night after work.
I still haven't studied or finished my paper.
I'll leave for work again in about 45 minutes.
I'll probably go and meet up with my friend again to congratulate her on her hard work in her play (this time with my other friend present since she couldn't go on Friday).
I'm working on my paper as I type this (I'm just taking a small break from all those error bars and standard deviation stuff).
I have a pain in the area where the solder pad arms of my glasses meet my nose.
It's humid, and I'm sweaty. (*shudder in disgust)
And what the hell is that humming/swirling noise that I keep hearing!!! I'm not in New Mexico or in Canada, so WTF is that noise?!

 

HOLY

SHIT!

I JUST NOTICED I HAVE ONE MORE DAY OF CLASS AND THEN IT'S FINALS!!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE USUAL READING DAY ON FRIDAYS!?

WHO DECIDED TO MOVE THE LAST CLASS DAY ON A MONDAY AND START FINALS THAT SAME WEEK ON A TUESDAY?! WTH?!!! SHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIT!

I'm like in a total shock....lol.

I wanted more time with him...

just

Sports announcer: "...they're passing the stick.."
My sister screaming in the next room: "It's the baton not a stick!"

lol.

I need to find scholarships!!

I was just reading this article about a lady fighting those debt collector calls that we usually get at home. Unfortunately, we don't have caller ID (in what @#$%ing age does my family live in!!) so we answer every freaking call.

 Anywho, the thing is I laughed so hard when I read this particular part from the Yahoo! article..."repeatedly called her a vulgar name for the female anatomy." I was like..vagina? Then instantly after thinking that, another voice in my head said, "NO! stupid! P#$^%^!!" Man I seriously laughed like the idiot that I am! Ahhh, that was a nice one...I laughed nicely. De-stress. It shall go in my list of stupid things said by moi. :D

Sadder news, my current professor with whom I had hoped to work with is leaving to her new employment by the Fall semester to the East Coast. NOOOO! My plan C just shattered! No seriously, I really do like her. She is super funny and really helpful! A really kind soul and smart as hell! Aww I'll miss her and her quirkiness! How she goes into yoga mode every time something is getting to her. lol <3

I got accepted to UMN. Hells yeah! Now to find a roommate buddy so that my parents will let me go to Minnesota!

oh and that yahoo article is found here:  http://abcnews.go.com/US/va-woman-fights-collect-10-million-debt-collectors/story?id=16205697#.T5jHitngyt8

i just realized

my birthday is coming up. I should buy myself something. I always wanted a key chain of Nyanko sensei...maybe I should order that through amazon. My friend's birthday is also coming up...maybe I should get her something as well.

hmmm Idk. I always say I see no difference over the years. I look the same, still don't wear makeup (not a fan really), weigh the same (something my fucking doctor would be at the very least happy about. I'm sorry I still don't have Shakira's body you little @#$%&*$#@$#% ), and it feels the same. Granted I may not think the same. Some ideas/believes have changed, and they'll constantly be changing non-stop, but I feel the same old me.

same love for mystical things...unicorns, dragons, ghosts, souls, etc.
same clumsiness and airhead-ness
I still daydream...a lot (it's the new meditation lol)
I prefer anime over t.v.
I'm still stubborn as hell.

shoot

So the professor with whom I wanted to work with had already retired. I was 4 years too late. darn. He was my number one choice. He was kind enough to suggest me his colleague and dear friend at Iowa State. I'll look into it :).

I bought this egg like thing for Easter. It was like a buck + tax, and it said it had two packets of Pop Rocks (hellz yeah!) and two stickers (uh ok). So when I opened it, I got all excited cuz I had gotten three stickers. Lucky! LOLOL!! This is from a 22-ish going for 23....Super childish...

to the shooting range!!

You Disappoint Me.

You Really Do.
I would have thought that you would understand why I didn't want them to take them. I told you I would have helped you in neutering them, even though I'm against that idea, but even so I would have helped you through it. Just as long as they could have stayed here with us. We even discussed about taking them in Spring Break, and yet you still did that.

I guess you were tired of having to put of with them. Not that they were much to handle in the first place. I really don't know what was going through your head at that time.

I hope this rumor is not true. My number one fear in this world are feelings. They can amaze me yet bless me with so much terror of what they can lead someone to do in the mist of a sudden burst of mixed hormones.

I write this to remind myself of why I might not trust you anymore or why I might not see you as I did before my dear sister.

Aww shoot!!

So my Norton Anti-virus expired, and I haven't gotten the chance to go buy a new one or to renew it online. But I don't think I'll purchase Norton again. I think it was because of Norton and it's stupid glitches that almost made my computer crash. I lost count of how many system restores I had to do just so that Norton could finally install some stupid 360 update program that didn't come with my software in the first place. It just kept shutting off for no reason, the full system scan only removed cookies, and yet I saw some trojan viruses being blocked after logging in through the normal system log in process. I spent too much time on this, since I don't like to leave my laptop alone when it's going through a virus scan or installation process...I feel it might need me.(LOL) Anyways, after that "program" update and expiration thing, my computer will not open any pages off the search engines or any other website that is not in my bookmark toolbar; if it does open a page, it leads me directly to some yellow pages and cell phone stuff.

My guess is that it's infected. But I find it so suspicious that it happened right after it's expiration. I don't know. But for now, I guess I'll keep using the private web browsing since I can at least browse the internet correctly without going somewhere wayyyyy off.

I'm trying the AVG anti-virus 30 day trial one on my other laptop, let's see how that one goes, and by the looks of it....I probably won't like it...it is slowing my computer a lot. lol I couldn't even safely eject my portable HD while it ran a virus name update. An update!!

LOLOL!! It's PC tuneup registered 47 registry errors and 196 junk files....and the majority are from AVG!!! silly. Still I'll wait and see. :)

*sigh*

If only I had gone through the computer and programming degree route....

all for the money!!!!

I agreed to go into work at 6am tomorrow morning. This will mean I'll have to wake up around 4:30am, leave my house around 5am, and arrive at work around 6.

All for the extra ca$$$$$$hhh. lol

Excellent.

My book order was canceled from BD, so I had to get it through amazon. (I need to check if the refund comes in!!) I'm falling behind on my lecture reading though. :(

I just noticed how I suck at simple math!!! I need a good GRE score!!

eh?! A trip to MN is WAY cheaper and longer if you go to Chicago first and then to MN. The "shortest" route would be too expensive since it takes you to L.A., then OR, and then MN.......hmmmm.....

My brother did answer the question!! hahah. and made fun of my email name lol.

Miss. Silhouette

I have a thing for silhouettes. （⌒▽⌒）
and my hair is usually like this at home...in a mess.

fufufufu

My brothers out of town in college. We really don't have an "internet" or "social networking" connection, so when I asked for his email it felt kinda weird lol.
Anywho, I sent him an email and to verify it was him, and I added a question: 'Name of your gf: (answer here).' lol let's see if he responds :D

Listening to Sigur Ros since I didn't go to work today....
When I first heard this song it "felt" something was off yet it drew me in. Not much because it "felt" joyful or because I imagined a parade like image like in the movie paprika, but the beginning was different. After some thought, I realized the beginning was different from most songs. It actually felt like it began as if it was ending. Idk, like it reached it's peaking point from the very start, keeps it steady, and then it slowly, harmoniously tells the beginning of the song as it ends. I just realized I'm not making any sense lolol! Idk, it just feels like it starts off as if it's ending but it's actually barely starting. I guess metaphorically, just like life: we are born with an eventual perspective to death, yet when we get old and are about to die, we say it's just the beginning (well some people do). [[[whoa, I really lost myself here!! ahaha]]] Just my opinion.

Really love this song though （*´▽｀*）<3

At the top of my head

I signed up for a website to put up some drawings just for the heck of it.
I love my laptop and how she kept turning off to avoid a viral intrusion. Imagine if she could speak.
It's 11:36pm, and I feel ready to start the week tomorrow. I've solved my blunder in the lab, and I've printed many scientific papers on Synesthesia.
I feel sleepy and tired, but I don't wish to sleep. If I sleep, I feel the desire to sleep forever. To relax in nothingness.
The fear that Mr. Indolence might win one day is terrifying, but I won't let it win.
I hope one day the person sleeping next to me will brew fresh coffee every morning.

I shall go to sleep now. :]

and to remind myself:
http://ceruleansky.artician.com/
http://eventhorizonz.tumblr.com/

that feeling..

when you drop a chip on the floor and you start looking for it before someone steps on it...and you just have to end up stepping on it.. （￣□￣；）

lollolollol!!!


I just saw a video saying that the chef from CWD was injured.
Hope she gets better! :)

This Face!!!!

soothes me. lol
he's adorable~

chibi Nyanko sensei

now i can finish reading that book. :)

i just notice the time is way off...it's already 11:31pm....you lie blogger!!

"Genius is eternal patience."

^ got that from a fortune cookie.

I want to add a pic here, but my friends want me to get out of my room and stop what I'm reading, drawing, and thinking/contemplation of my life situation to go out and live in this small town for today with them.

Today my patience is running lower than average compared to the stuffed bear sitting next to me. I'm no genius.

aww, my coffee has gotten cold...

what are you, 8 yrs old?

I don't like the feeling of a needle piercing through the skin. I thoroughly and absolutely dislike them. I'm pretty darn scared of the simple idea and process of it.

And so, I curse you for making it mandatory to have the Meningococcal vaccine for incoming grad students. Thank you for caring. I really am thankful, but I don't think it should be mandatory. It should NOT be mandatory. I understand the risks, and I still prefer not to partake in this. Thank you....... but curse you!!!

It's frustrating. It's like an injustice lol. Just by thinking about it, makes my eyes tear up. Pathetic. arghhhh!!  

FUCK!!!!!!

I can just feel the pain already!!

a tendency

Cafe Tacuba: Eres
Mana: Manda una senal
Enrique Iglesias/Pitbull: I like how it feels