I get this feeling of just sleeping.
Just sleep and never get up.
But man, that's just waste.
I kinda feel bad. I feel I'm becoming very....hmm, something like selfishly thoughtless to put it. I feel like I've been here all my life. That my hometown never really existed. All those people and places I saw and lived in, aren't real. None of it was real. It feels like that place was all just a dream, and this place, this city, that I'm currently for the past month & a-half has always been the place where I've been. I don't know. Maybe it's actually the other way around. I don't know what to think anymore. It's a bit hard to explain.
When people ask if I miss my hometown, I don't know what to say. Cuz I really don't know what to think of it. I think it's because I never let this new adventure sink in. I haven't had the time to think and process my current situation and plans through.
And then they always ask (when they know I'm living alone), "Aren't you lonely?" I always feel like asking them, "What is loneliness to you?" But then I'll get into this whole philosophical concept of what I think loneliness is, the emphasis that man places on what meaning of stuff, words, or concepts; and so much stuff that this head of mine thinks of when people say that loneliness is such a bad thing. This is like a pet peeve to me. lol. So I'll rather just say "I'm not," and let it be over with.
Anyways, that feeling of waking up is horrendous, but after a while, once the melatonin has passed and the light stimulation has traveled to the suprachiasmatic nucleus, I feel very happy to be up. My mind is happy to be up, and my brain is ready to continue on the next interesting thing to learn about. I don't know. It's just very amazing.
Feelings, you are the most scariest thing anything/anyone can have installed. I fear you, and even this fear is...illogically contradictive?? Hmm, I make perfect sense. lol.
Just sleep and never get up.
But man, that's just waste.
I kinda feel bad. I feel I'm becoming very....hmm, something like selfishly thoughtless to put it. I feel like I've been here all my life. That my hometown never really existed. All those people and places I saw and lived in, aren't real. None of it was real. It feels like that place was all just a dream, and this place, this city, that I'm currently for the past month & a-half has always been the place where I've been. I don't know. Maybe it's actually the other way around. I don't know what to think anymore. It's a bit hard to explain.
When people ask if I miss my hometown, I don't know what to say. Cuz I really don't know what to think of it. I think it's because I never let this new adventure sink in. I haven't had the time to think and process my current situation and plans through.
And then they always ask (when they know I'm living alone), "Aren't you lonely?" I always feel like asking them, "What is loneliness to you?" But then I'll get into this whole philosophical concept of what I think loneliness is, the emphasis that man places on what meaning of stuff, words, or concepts; and so much stuff that this head of mine thinks of when people say that loneliness is such a bad thing. This is like a pet peeve to me. lol. So I'll rather just say "I'm not," and let it be over with.
Anyways, that feeling of waking up is horrendous, but after a while, once the melatonin has passed and the light stimulation has traveled to the suprachiasmatic nucleus, I feel very happy to be up. My mind is happy to be up, and my brain is ready to continue on the next interesting thing to learn about. I don't know. It's just very amazing.
Feelings, you are the most scariest thing anything/anyone can have installed. I fear you, and even this fear is...illogically contradictive?? Hmm, I make perfect sense. lol.
