the down fall of humanity

Lazinessssssss.

I feel like making Christmas cards but I'm to lazy to make anything...We really don't celebrate Christmas (or any holiday in general just when someone in the family (my sister) starts asking if we are going to do anything).....well..
Let's see my train of thoughts gooo.........I'm thinking of just making something simple with the same design to all of them and just adding a small note and bag of candies. Hmm that's sounds good. Then, I can make a small name tag for each to personalize the card...............maybe I'll get a small gift for each..It doesn't really matter just something small yet good....I won't have time to make the gifts so I should go shopping downtown or to the stores and see what I can get or destroy and remake as a gift lol.......ah I just remembered I had bought a few things for at least two of people....gooood!! I'm glad I'm not that big of a procrastinator!!! lmfao! :)

Testosterone

Only in graduations in which I participate, make me feel very angry and edgy after they are finished. I just want to go home. I don't want to go anywhere. No celebration; no eating out; no nothing. Let me go home. I get angry at EVERY SINGLE THING! The drivers, the traffic lights, the weather, making small stops at H.E.B, and above all the PEOPLE! It's ridiculous...
But if I'm just watching on the side lines, I don't get this upsetting feeling. I can listen to all the speeches a million times and I probably won't feel as angry as when I'm actually a participant. I could care less if the ceremony takes 4-8 hours, just don't let me be in it. I don't mind going out to eat and celebrate with the person in question. I'm actually quite calm and normal. I find this very funny.
I guess the rise of testosterone levels, which are found after an achievement, just make me cranky. LOL~!

On the side note; before I forget:
Grad #:69 (keep; Pisces, YY)
Seat #: 131 (rearrange; birth)
Alpha #: 48 (sum; dollar)
Speaker: A Biomedical engineer; CMI Inc. (hint)

Tainted white

There's a guilty feeling that I keep thinking of. It's always at the back of my mind. I really enjoy this cold weather. It's the only time when my cold hands actually have a reason in being cold, unlike in the hot days when they're freezing for some weird reason. I really hoped that this year it would snow, or at the very least, I wanted the weather to get really cold to the point of making this winter feel like an actual season. Snow in winter sounds delightful since we don't get much cold weather down here. I'm quite tolerable for the cold which is probably due to the fact that I'm quite small and a female are perhaps good factors. The shortness especially: less surface area= less heat loss. lol
No, but in general, I think I have a good thermoregulation response from the vasoconstriction to the mental state of forgetting how cold it actually is/feels (the usefulness of being forgetful).

But I can't help to think of the people who can't really be warm in this type of weather. There are more homeless people in this area than there used to be, and I can't stop wondering if they have someplace warm to go to in these cold nights. Even people who do have a home but are in need, can they keep themselves warm? What about the people who can get really sick if they don't keep warm. Although the human body can probably tolerate up to maybe 91 degrees F, some people are just not ready for this kind of cold weather. The animals, but not just pets, animals in general. I mean I can't go to bed unless I verify that my dogs and cats are covered with their blankets and the wind is not hitting them directly. I just feel bad. lol idk.
But still, perhaps many of these people actually came down here because they can avoid this type of cold weather from up north. And here I am, wishing it could get so cold that the rain that falls can meet a cold ground temperature so that crystalline water forms can pile up and cover this land in endless whiteness.

Selfishness.

So maybe I should start thinking of going to someplace where it actually snows, and stop wishing for it to come here. yup.  

crude

"I think you should take the easy route. Don't go anywhere. Just stay here and go into teaching. Forget about a Master degree. It'll do no good in this field of teaching nor will it be any good in a few years. Just graduate already, get into the teaching program, get a teaching job, and start saving for retirement and what not. Nothing better awaits; at least not what you wish for awaits further down any path. Just let the years pass by. Forget about everything and the people you've encountered in college. They were just meant to be known for a few years anyways; nothing more nothing less.

Just get a nice apartment and leave your little town, get closer to your work area to save up on gas and time. Then maybe in a few years, you'll meet someone decent, not rich but well liked. You might get that home and children before you hit your 40s, or even premenopause, or before something else hits you in life. All of this said is quite possible. But you just have to conform. Quietly and obediently follow the standards which you have been given. They are for the best you know.

That's why everything has played and has fallen into place very well all these years. No ifs or buts. Everything made sense when It was being followed. It felt right. It went right. Just go with the flow. Follow the original plan you've had since 5th grade. Graduate, go into teaching, get paid well, and get the family you've always wanted. So just conform and enjoy this life in the parameters and safety limits it has been set at.

So just yield already."

and now let's add the evil laugh at the end...."Bwahahahahah!!"...

Interesting

Mo ii.

tsukarete.

awake.

I would stop. It doesn't really matter what their social status, their economical status, or any other materialistic factor we humans have come up with and labeled ourselves with. The simple fact that they are living beings is good enough, and this applies to anything which I define as being "alive" (which is not in the realm of the scientific mind lol) not just humans.

Anywho, I feel at times that I'm about to wake up. Sometimes out of nowhere, this feeling of "waking" comes in and momentarily disrupts my train of thoughts. No, not that type of theoretical stuff of "are we really awake in this world...etc" stuff, more like a nostalgic feeling of finishing something...idk. It's just funny :)

In the mean time, I'll keep using my hands as ice packs to numb pains hahahh. yup.