A second child...it's not only soul searching they should do, but they should also need to break out of that fear and mentality which they have been following....

Dori-kei

I was quite surprised there was a movie of this, but I then realized it was just a blend of all the episodes I had already seen into a movie. But still it was beautiful to re-watch, and I was a total cry baby throughout the whole movie again just like in the episodes lol

I kinda understand the feelings it portrays. Even though here they used robots, I kind of apply the same rule to anything that surrounds me.. perhaps to a certain extend but nonetheless it has been undeniably there since childhood. Always present, reminding me of the feelings and connections I share with the things that surround  me. ie when my car got hit, I cried not because I was scared of what was going to happen, but because Sakura was hit. All these years she's had been working well, driving me home, not criticized my singing, and then she just got hit. Full hit to her right side. It was a scary impact followed by many screeching vehicles behind us. I did go check on the other driver first, and he was alright with no injury whatsoever just a little shaken like me, but when I saw the damage to Sakura, it was just extremely painful to see. There she was hit, bent, and missing her whole tail light. I just felt so bad for some reason....
I know it might seem silly, but that's just one of the things I kinda like about this mind of mine. I think this is referred to as animism, maybe even hoarding or OCD. Still, call what you want, I wouldn't change this because in the end I actually like it, and in the rise of the situation, I know I'll make the correct decision in major case scenarios. :)

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Watch Time of Eve (Movie) - English Subbed in Anime  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
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Bionic...

Humanoid Robot... Android....autonomous robot....person... I wonder.
I cry my eyes out in really sad and joyful scenes, but it seems I mainly do this in animated movies/episodes and books. Scenes involving real life, flesh people with the same degree of emotional intensity do not stir my tear ducts, but the only exception is if the scene involved old people, children, animals, or death scenes (even of the bad guys), then they'll stream out. Scenes where emotions can be transmitted let it be of happiness or of frustration for being powerless or simply where injustice and degradation of the heart is depicted...I've seen quite a few emotional movies were someone dies or something, but they don't make the same impact as a cartoon or a book for some reason. Maybe I might have shed a tear, but I don't remember... I don't know. Perhaps it just doesn't feel... real...I mean I understand why a book might win over a movie anytime because I'm so engrossed into what I'm reading that I feel everything as if I'm in it since it's all in my imagination (the wonders of it!), and I know a cartoon is just a graphical animation that conveys real life to some degree, yet these two always win in the feeling level compared to a flesh movie. Maybe it's also due to the fact that re-enacting scenes which involve great emotional stress without a real stimuli to make a sad scene, for example, is not easy for people to portray.  Or maybe I have something wrong in my hormones..genes...maybe I'm not even a true human...lol..hmm odd.. 
~ ~
Anyways, I mainly wrote this because I re-watched a rather scary and heartfelt film, and yes it was a cartoon! Even though I had previously watched it, I forgot what had happened and I just had a feeling it was a really sad film (and I say scary because we've all probably been through this emotional tensity which I find rather nerve racking). So when I started watching it, all the feelings came back :')

But still who doesn't go through this at one point in their lifetime. Usually crushes just stop talking to me, so I really never had to see someone I considered dear leave as these two had to part. But, I just wish that if I ever go through something similar (whichever side of the guy or the girl), I would want to remain true to what I feel and say what I have to say without regrets in rise of the opportunity (and so far so good :) ). I say this because the fool could have told her what he wrote on that damn letter since his freakin lips weren't sealed! >:[  anyways, enough of ranting like a pubescent teenage girl. I liked this film...I should go buy it :)
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Watch 5 Centimeters Per Second in Animation  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
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kibou

I don't understand how you could not see her walking up to you.
Were you in such a rush that you could stop and honk at her or maybe even scream your lungs out at her to move out of your way at the very least?
I just really don't get it

it's just a little purple~

Dear Micho,

you hit a vein! and twice you little..!!
argh the pain!

with love,
my throbbing leg (lol)
:)

Move damn it!

So playing the piano is not as fun as I had expected....rather it's because it is not as easy as I had expected. Knowing the notes and actually executing the command to play the notes is quite difficult. I applaud to anyone who can play.

I get frustrated by the fact that this is partly due to my neuronal connections/communication, primary motor cortex, planum temporale, superior temporal gyrus, and other brain regions activations (whatever one might call them) so I can't do much about it. It is not something I can learn and memorize real quick like in Biochemistry or something, so I can't really do much but maybe practice, practice, practice and establish some connections and awaken sleeping regions........or I can just hit my head or something and see if that helps lol! It might work.

let's see how the test goes...

success

So I don't know....my professors all have good PhDs. I wonder if I should go for it as well. It doesn't seem too hard since it all depends on your commitment and effort you put into it. My professors all seem pretty happy with what they do. They enjoy teaching, researching, and pretty much handling us; I find this pretty amazing in a way, yet I can't help but feel a bit...sad in a way. They have all been quite successful in their field work and all, but it makes me wonder if they have or had a family. I know some do/did. Some have all grown up children, and others are barely starting to form their families at their early 40's. I see nothing wrong, but I can't see myself doing this.

Things like staying late at the lab, not going home for days, maybe even work at a different city/state from your family, and other stuff which I feel I won't like to do, are ultimately making me think twice of getting a PhD. I've always thought that if I ever do have a family, I would want to spend time with them and not just on holidays or days off from work. I don't know..
I can't live forever. This body can only live for so long, and I would like to see my children grow into their 60s and perhaps even grandchildren. I would like to see the type of person/soul the children I (and future husband of course) will bring to life and help grow....there is more to life than to just study...so maybe I shouldn't...

and I'm just paranoid lol :)

the other me that lurks

I like my shadow.
It shows indifference to color as well as to shapes.
Fair and even.
My loyal companion.
Graceful.
Indiscriminate.
Human Perfection.
:)


narcissist much hahah

"It is more difficult to save lifes than to take them."

but yet it feels very fulfilling
and wholesome when you give it your all
by at least trying
to save a life
without really having a 'why' or 'what' attached to it.

Ne, Balsa-san :)